The Smile Corner!!!
- tillybean
- Advanced
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- Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:54 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Location: Bain Al Jasrain - not too far from the Shangri-La
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Some classic British humour with Tommy Cooper:
She’s always smiling. She’s the only girl I know whose teeth are sunburnt.
I’ve got a wife who never misses me. Her aim is perfect!
This old man was dying and he called his nephew to his bedside. He said: ‘I’m leaving you all my money.’ The nephew said: ‘Thank you, Uncle. What can I do for you?’ He said: ‘Get your foot off my oxygen tube.’
A dog bit a chunk out of my leg the other day. A friend of mine said: ‘Did you put anything on it?’ I said: ‘No, he liked it as it was.’
I always sit in the back of a plane. It’s much safer. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain!
She’s always smiling. She’s the only girl I know whose teeth are sunburnt.
I’ve got a wife who never misses me. Her aim is perfect!
This old man was dying and he called his nephew to his bedside. He said: ‘I’m leaving you all my money.’ The nephew said: ‘Thank you, Uncle. What can I do for you?’ He said: ‘Get your foot off my oxygen tube.’
A dog bit a chunk out of my leg the other day. A friend of mine said: ‘Did you put anything on it?’ I said: ‘No, he liked it as it was.’
I always sit in the back of a plane. It’s much safer. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain!
Tillybean / Sam
050 130 2128
050 130 2128
- desert_hawk
- Advanced
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- Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:53 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Location: Abu Dhabi
The Smile Corner!!!
Laughing Baby.
A baby was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing like crazy. I mean laughing real hard. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little thing, in front of the worried parents, but he kept on laughing, his tiny fists all closed and tears rolling from his eyes. One at a time, a pediatrician unfolded the tiny fingers to check if the hand was all right, and... guess what he found?
The birth control pill!
A baby was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing like crazy. I mean laughing real hard. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little thing, in front of the worried parents, but he kept on laughing, his tiny fists all closed and tears rolling from his eyes. One at a time, a pediatrician unfolded the tiny fingers to check if the hand was all right, and... guess what he found?
The birth control pill!
FJCRUISER
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
- desert_hawk
- Advanced
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- Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:53 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Location: Abu Dhabi
The Smile Corner!!!
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God? "
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God? " Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!? "
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude... God is missing--and they think WE did it! "
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God? "
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God? " Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!? "
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude... God is missing--and they think WE did it! "
FJCRUISER
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
- Scorpionita
- Marshal | PR and Media
- Posts: 5455
- Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2010 3:54 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!!!"
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!!!"
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
Scorpion is another word of Legend
We are Big
We are Professional
We are Perfect
SIMPLY WE ARE AD4x4
Will remain AD4x4 PROUD member and Marshal
We are Big
We are Professional
We are Perfect
SIMPLY WE ARE AD4x4
Will remain AD4x4 PROUD member and Marshal
- Scorpionita
- Marshal | PR and Media
- Posts: 5455
- Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2010 3:54 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
Scorpion is another word of Legend
We are Big
We are Professional
We are Perfect
SIMPLY WE ARE AD4x4
Will remain AD4x4 PROUD member and Marshal
We are Big
We are Professional
We are Perfect
SIMPLY WE ARE AD4x4
Will remain AD4x4 PROUD member and Marshal
- Scorpionita
- Marshal | PR and Media
- Posts: 5455
- Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2010 3:54 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
A boy speeding on road.
Guard stops him and ask, "Did you see the speed limit sign?"
The boy says, "Yea, I just didnt see you."
Guard stops him and ask, "Did you see the speed limit sign?"
The boy says, "Yea, I just didnt see you."
Scorpion is another word of Legend
We are Big
We are Professional
We are Perfect
SIMPLY WE ARE AD4x4
Will remain AD4x4 PROUD member and Marshal
We are Big
We are Professional
We are Perfect
SIMPLY WE ARE AD4x4
Will remain AD4x4 PROUD member and Marshal
-
- Advanced
- Posts: 314
- Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:53 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Happy Halloween
All the best
Wolle
All the best
Wolle
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- Gladiator
- Advanced
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- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:00 am
- Location: Abu Dhabi
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Love story of a phD student
I was in 12th
She was in 12th
I got BSc
she got BCA
I was doing MSc
she got married
I was preparing JRF
she's a mother of 1 child
I got PhD
she's the moher of 2 childs
am doing PhD
her daughter is 1st std
I became DOCTORATE
her daughter passed 10th
I have joined Job
her daughter joined college
The Greatest irony
Today is my ENGAGEMENT
& her daughter is my FIANCEE
I wil never do PhD again....
I was in 12th
She was in 12th
I got BSc
she got BCA
I was doing MSc
she got married
I was preparing JRF
she's a mother of 1 child
I got PhD
she's the moher of 2 childs
am doing PhD
her daughter is 1st std
I became DOCTORATE
her daughter passed 10th
I have joined Job
her daughter joined college
The Greatest irony
Today is my ENGAGEMENT
& her daughter is my FIANCEE
I wil never do PhD again....
- Gladiator
- Advanced
- Posts: 5445
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:00 am
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Contact:
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Jiggy
A young lad from Sydney , Nova Scotia goes off to University,
but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money.
He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing.
They actually have a program here in Antigonish that could teach our dog "Jiggy" how to talk.'
'That's amazing!' his Dad says 'How do I get Jiggy in that program?'
'Just send him in here with $1200,' the young lad says, 'I'll get him in the course.'
So his father sends the dog "Jiggy"and $1200.
About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out.
The young lad calls home.
'So how's Jiggy doing, son?' his father wants to know.
'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm.
But you just won't believe this.
They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read..'
'Read?!' exclaims his father.
'No kidding! How do we get our Jiggy in that program?'
'Just send $2300. I'll get him in the class for sure.'
The money promptly arrives.
But our hero has a problem.
At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
'Where's my Jiggy? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'
'Dad,' the young lad says, 'I have some grim news.
Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Jiggy was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Cape Breton Post.
Then he suddenly turned to me and asked,
'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead working in the bakery at the grocery store?''
The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!'
'I sure did, Dad!'
'That's my boy!'
The kid went on to be a successful lawyer, and later on, he became a politician!.
A young lad from Sydney , Nova Scotia goes off to University,
but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money.
He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing.
They actually have a program here in Antigonish that could teach our dog "Jiggy" how to talk.'
'That's amazing!' his Dad says 'How do I get Jiggy in that program?'
'Just send him in here with $1200,' the young lad says, 'I'll get him in the course.'
So his father sends the dog "Jiggy"and $1200.
About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out.
The young lad calls home.
'So how's Jiggy doing, son?' his father wants to know.
'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm.
But you just won't believe this.
They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read..'
'Read?!' exclaims his father.
'No kidding! How do we get our Jiggy in that program?'
'Just send $2300. I'll get him in the class for sure.'
The money promptly arrives.
But our hero has a problem.
At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
'Where's my Jiggy? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'
'Dad,' the young lad says, 'I have some grim news.
Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Jiggy was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Cape Breton Post.
Then he suddenly turned to me and asked,
'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead working in the bakery at the grocery store?''
The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!'
'I sure did, Dad!'
'That's my boy!'
The kid went on to be a successful lawyer, and later on, he became a politician!.
-
- Advanced
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- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
The dutch coach after the lost Game to his team" I told you, to play like you never played before", not to play like you never played.
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- MalteJK
- Posts: 2028
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!
"favorite part of attending a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka."
http://www.oryx4x4.com
“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live”
c.b.
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phone : 0567786537
lead: Newbie(2) Intermediate(11), Advanced(5)
“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live”
c.b.
#green Jk Sahara ( totally stock ) ( 2013 -
#green Jk Sport ( totally struck ) ( 2013 - 2013 )
#white nissan badroll(stuck) ( 2012-2013 )
#silver jk Sahara unlimited ( stock ) ( 2010- )
phone : 0567786537
lead: Newbie(2) Intermediate(11), Advanced(5)
- zeer
- Posts: 1493
- Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:22 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
A tourist
A tourist asked a boat guy, "Do you know Biology, Psychology, Geography, Geology or Criminology?"
The boat guy said, "NO...." not any.
The tourist then asked, "What the hell do you know on the face of this earth? You will die of illiteracy!"
The boat guy said nothing.....
After a while the boat developed a fault and started sinking.
The boatman then asked the tourist, "Do you know Swimology and Escapology from Crocodiology?"
The tourist said, "NO!"
The boat guy replied, "Well today you will Drownology and Crocodiology will eat your Assology and you will Dieology because of your Badmouthology"
A tourist asked a boat guy, "Do you know Biology, Psychology, Geography, Geology or Criminology?"
The boat guy said, "NO...." not any.
The tourist then asked, "What the hell do you know on the face of this earth? You will die of illiteracy!"
The boat guy said nothing.....
After a while the boat developed a fault and started sinking.
The boatman then asked the tourist, "Do you know Swimology and Escapology from Crocodiology?"
The tourist said, "NO!"
The boat guy replied, "Well today you will Drownology and Crocodiology will eat your Assology and you will Dieology because of your Badmouthology"
Eyad Harb - 0501234066
One for All & All for One
"BANNA WAS A GOOD MAN..MISSED BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN"
DesNav2011 / DesNav2012 / DesNav2013 / JeeP Jamboree 2013 / Desert Clean / EDC trainer / Sanid Leader
2010-2012 Trips (counter)/(lead): Newbie(27)(02) Intermediate(60)(10) Advance(19)(02) Expert(02)(01) TOTAL (108)/(15)
----2013--- Trips (counter)/(lead): Newbie(12)(04) Intermediate(17)(05) Advance(21)(03) Expert(04)(00) TOTAL (55)/(12)
One for All & All for One
"BANNA WAS A GOOD MAN..MISSED BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN"
DesNav2011 / DesNav2012 / DesNav2013 / JeeP Jamboree 2013 / Desert Clean / EDC trainer / Sanid Leader
2010-2012 Trips (counter)/(lead): Newbie(27)(02) Intermediate(60)(10) Advance(19)(02) Expert(02)(01) TOTAL (108)/(15)
----2013--- Trips (counter)/(lead): Newbie(12)(04) Intermediate(17)(05) Advance(21)(03) Expert(04)(00) TOTAL (55)/(12)
- Abu Ghazi
- Advanced
- Posts: 1096
- Joined: Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:27 pm
- Location: Dubai
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Contact:
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
30% of population uses Google as a search engine
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The rest of the 70% are using it to check if the internet is working or not…
& I am one of the 70%
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The rest of the 70% are using it to check if the internet is working or not…
& I am one of the 70%
Trips counter:
Old rules: ANIT (1+2 as assistant), Newbie (14), Intermediate (13) One Liwa,
New rules: ANIT (2 as assistant), Newbie (2), Intermediate (9), Advance (7) One Liwa
Trips led:
New rules: Newbie (0), Intermediate (5), Advance (0)
Old rules: ANIT (1+2 as assistant), Newbie (14), Intermediate (13) One Liwa,
New rules: ANIT (2 as assistant), Newbie (2), Intermediate (9), Advance (7) One Liwa
Trips led:
New rules: Newbie (0), Intermediate (5), Advance (0)
- Prufster
- Newbie
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- Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:17 am
- Location: Dubai
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Two antennas met on a roof top, felt in love and got married.
The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great...
The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great...
- tillybean
- Advanced
- Posts: 4919
- Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:54 pm
- Location: Abu Dhabi
- Location: Bain Al Jasrain - not too far from the Shangri-La
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Love this one!Prufster wrote:Two antennas met on a roof top, felt in love and got married.
The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great...
Tillybean / Sam
050 130 2128
050 130 2128