The Smile Corner!!!

Chit Chat about general subjects.
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MalteJK
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by MalteJK »

Shields down captain.

posted John (76CJ5) on the Quadratec bulletin board

It was sooo nice today I decided to go all the way and put the windshield down. For all you newbies who are thinking about it, here are some observations:
Keep your mouth shut at all times.
Bugs hurt at 60 mph.
Bugs travel in swarms.
A June bug on your windshield looks a lot better than on your glasses.
Even with your lips clamped shut, a bug at 60 mph can get through.
Spit to your left only.
Gravel hurts worse, and they travel in swarms also.
You thought people looked at you strange when you have the top down? Just wait.
Your hair feels funny when you stop.
Can't wait for tomorrow, I'll be volunteering to drive anywhere.

----

Signs and Symptoms that you may be a Jeep Addict.
You use a hose to clean the outside and inside of your Jeep.
You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep.
You determine that the best route from Point A to Point B is through a rock pile or over a mountain.
You call a scratch or a dent, a beauty mark.
You roll it over and don't get upset.
Your Mom or your sister can't get in without help.
You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb.
You feel nauseous when you see a RAV-4 or a Chevy Tracker.
You get custom pin-striping from trail brush.
A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you want to get out and slap the driver.
You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
You take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail; I don't see a trail!"
You've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker.
You can see OVER a Suburban.
You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up.
It rains and you don't care that your top and doors are off.
You drive around to look at Christmas lights . . . topless.
You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break.
You take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again.
You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield.
You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents.
Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints.
Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling.
You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other.
Winter comes and your can't remember where you left your top.
You spend more on car washes than on insurance.
Even worse, the car wash won't let you in.
You fix almost everything yourself.
You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser or Hummer.
You have all your credit card numbers memorized.
You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground.
You get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm . . . and get paid for it.
Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway.
You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at your local Jeep dealership.
You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway.
You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep.
After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?", the next question is always: "And you do this for fun, right?".
Your criteria for selecting a "significant other" includes auto repair skills--air tools optional.
You plan your wedding around the Club's trail ride schedule.
You save broken Jeep parts as "mementos".
You know the exact story behind every one (see above).
When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Jeep Owner's Bible".
Your Jeep no longer fits in the garage.
You always have your drinks "on the rocks".
You think that any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel.
You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps.
You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
You know your ring gear size, but not your wedding ring size.
All of your shirts have some sort of grease or oil stains, or battery acid holes, from not planning on working on your (or a friend's) Jeep.
You have a dirt berm at the end of your driveway from the mud that got washed off of your Jeep.
You think that an "airline" is something that connects your differential to your air compressor.
You stop trying to get the dirt out from under your fingernails.
You buy parts for your Jeep instead of food for your family.
You spend Super Bowl Sunday turning wrenches rather than watching the game.
Your e-mail address refers to your Jeep rather than you.
Your garage holds more Jeeps than your house has bedrooms.
You have enough spare parts to build another Jeep.
You have Jeep parts in your cubicle at work.
You have to wash your hands before you go to the restroom.
You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage.
You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep.
You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.
You're constantly getting passed on the highway.
The Service Department has to let all of the air out of your front tires in order to reach the engine.
Your wallet is always empty!
You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.
You understand that JEEP is a way of life, not just for transportation.
You have more pictures of your Jeep than of your kids.
You're sitting here reading this while your wife/husband is waiting for you in bed.

----

Image
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Jo
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by Jo »

... Admit I can put a check on all :lol: :lol:
The lunatics have taken over the asylum

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Smiley
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by Smiley »

Here is a poem for a change: ...sorry it's in German, I can't really translate it.


Beherzigung

Ach, was soll der Mensch verlangen?
Ist es besser, ruhig bleiben?
Klammernd fest sich anzuhangen?
Ist es besser, sich zu treiben?
Soll er sich ein Haeuschen bauen?
Soll er unter Zelten leben?
Soll er auf die Felsen trauen?
Selbst die festen Felsen beben.

Eines schickt sich nicht fuer alle!
Sehe jeder, wie er's treibe,
Sehe jeder, wo er bleibe,
Und wer steht, dass er nicht falle!

( Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749- 1832 )
Brave Mädchen kommen in den Himmel, die anderen kommen überall hin...
(Good Girls go to heaven, the other ones go everywhere...)


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Code Red
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by Code Red »

A True Test of Love:

1. Put our wife and your dog in the truck of your car.

2. Drive around for 30 minutes

3. Open the trunk and see which one is happy to see you.

Then you'll know.
LC76 - It's what Rubicons want to be when they grow up . . .

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SSS
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by SSS »

Code Red wrote:A True Test of Love:

1. Put our wife and your dog in the truck of your car.

2. Drive around for 30 minutes

3. Open the trunk and see which one is happy to see you.

Then you'll know.
OUR wife? :lol:
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Code Red
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by Code Red »

Sometimes a typo can add another level to the joke.

I'm not sure how you ended up with sole custody of the dog though. Once they are out of the trunk one will definitely be friendlier than the other.
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by MooD »

Code Red wrote:A True Test of Love:

1. Put our wife and your dog in the truck of your car.

2. Drive around for 30 minutes

3. Open the trunk and see which one is happy to see you.

Then you'll know.

And what About if she Puts Her Husband for the Same Test ??????
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by SSS »

Code Red wrote:Sometimes a typo can add another level to the joke.

I'm not sure how you ended up with sole custody of the dog though. Once they are out of the trunk one will definitely be friendlier than the other.
... ANY wife would have strangled the dog during a 30 min drive in a dark trunk, my friend. After the dog farting, puking and peeing all over her she would not have the patience to wait until she gets out and kill you. :mrgreen:

in other words: nobody loves you (anymore, RIP) :shock:
chafik the SilverSandSurfer
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zeer
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Re: Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by zeer »

MooD wrote:
Code Red wrote:A True Test of Love:

1. Put our wife and your dog in the truck of your car.

2. Drive around for 30 minutes

3. Open the trunk and see which one is happy to see you.

Then you'll know.

And what About if she Puts Her Husband for the Same Test ??????
Both don't want to go out :grin::grin:
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Code Red
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by Code Red »

SSS wrote:
Code Red wrote:Sometimes a typo can add another level to the joke.

I'm not sure how you ended up with sole custody of the dog though. Once they are out of the trunk one will definitely be friendlier than the other.
... ANY wife would have strangled the dog during a 30 min drive in a dark trunk, my friend. After the dog farting, puking and peeing all over her she would not have the patience to wait until she gets out and kill you. :mrgreen:

in other words: nobody loves you (anymore, RIP) :shock:
True, but just because the dog is dead doesn't mean it won't still be friendlier than the wife will. ;)
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Post by iguana »

Do you think that you will live for 5 minutes after you open the trunk to enjoy with "who loves you more" or to tell us what did you find?
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MalteJK
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by MalteJK »

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven.
“There must be some mistake,” the lawyer argues. “I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five.”
“Fifty five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to out calculations, you’re eighty two.”
“How’s you get that?” the lawyer asks.

St. Peter answers: “We've added up your time sheets.”


========


A blonde sees a posting on a bulletin board that says, "Cruise -- Only $5."

She goes to the address on the back and hands the receptionist $5. The receptionist nods to a burly man reading a newspaper. He walks over to the blonde and knocks her unconscious.

The blonde wakes up tied to a log floating down river. To her right, she sees one of her blonde friends. "Do you think they're going to serve food on this trip?" she asks.

The other blonde replies, "They didn't last year."
http://www.oryx4x4.com

“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live”
c.b.

#green Jk Sahara ( totally stock ) ( 2013 -
#green Jk Sport ( totally struck ) ( 2013 - 2013 )
#white nissan badroll(stuck) ( 2012-2013 )
#silver jk Sahara unlimited ( stock ) ( 2010- )

phone : 0567786537

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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by 4x4er »

If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't true. Can you imagine finding a 2010 G-wagen for below 40k?! Gulf specs AND a US import :lol:

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The Smile Corner!!!

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Re: The Smile Corner!!!

Post by Scorpionita »

Let's smile
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